Often, the most difficult part of being good at people is finding common ground with a “total and complete idiot.”
The person who doesn’t agree with you about vaccines, politics, or the shape of the earth - or maybe the person who roots for your rival or hates your God.
Sometimes that person is the one passing you the potatoes.
Here’s a helpful roadmap for having difficult conversations this holiday season using a technique called motivational interviewing. Adam Grant’s latest, “Think Again” is full of gems like this. Highly recommended.
Ironically, being open and willing to change your mind might just be the best way to get others to be willing to change THEIRS.
It's also NICER.
More human connection AND more influence all wrapped into one technique?
Looks like someone got the big end of the wishbone.
No one wants to be boring. So I have a secret to make you the most interesting person in the room:
“If you want to be interesting, be interested.”
That sounds great. Simple, profound advice wrapped up in a single Tweetable quote. But how, exactly, do you do it?
In a word, eyebrows.
This week, whenever you see people you want to make a positive impression on, do an eyebrow flash.
An eyebrow flash is when both eyebrows go up for a moment, then come back down. Throw in a genuine smile and you’ve got the kind of eyebrow flash we’re looking for. You want to convey the emotion of “pleasant surprise” and “positive recognition”. This is an expression that is universal among all primates so it’s guaranteed to have the desired effect of “Hey! I know you. And I like you.” Unless of course, you mess it up.
Here are some cautions:
DO NOT bring your eyebrows together as they go up. This will convey a sad or possibly worried...
"Good at People" is a free, snappy, (occasionally) weekly email. Might be a story, a life hack, a helpful link, or an upcoming live event notification. Makes you smile and think every time.